Time is counting down...

to the Big Day.

By my reckoning, I have fifteen days remaining of my "Freedom"/Bachelorhood.

Actually, make that fourteen.

Clarissa asked me today if I'd had my "Freak-out moment". I looked at her and smiled.

What can you say to that?

No, it turns out is the correct answer.

And I haven't.

Oddly, I've been gearing up for this day most of my life.

It's often thought that it's the girls that dream of their wedding day and I'm sure that's true, although, on this occasion, it's my turn.

Since I was a young-man I've had this belief that I would one day find that special little lady, settle down, get married and live happily ever after.

I know where this desire came from, it came from my Mum and my Dad. To my eyes, they were a happy couple. Strike that, they were a very happy couple. A pair that, as I saw them, were one person, to the point that I often found it difficult to imagine their lives before they met each other and became Mum and Dad.

I'm sure this lack of sight is common in most children, but I know for a fact that my parents were one.

One half silly, the other, even sillier.

I thank them both for a multitude of things, not least, an obsessive, book reading nature. Something that didn't really rub off on me until my early twenties but in no small part is their doing.

The nearer the 28th gets, the more I find I'm thinking about them and the rest of my family.

I will miss my Cousins and Aunt at the wedding, I won't miss my Brother, I will miss, more than I can say, my Parents.

At the end of last year I finally finished and e-published my first book. I wrote a dedication inside to Peter and Daphne- my Parents. I wish they had been able to read it, but moreover, I wish they were able to be here on the day.

I thank whoever that they met Clarissa all those years ago. I thank them that they contributed so heavily to our being able to see each other over the months and years were were together and I thank whoever that Mum knew that I was going to see Clarissa again.

To paraphrase my Fiancée, "If you're going to do something, best do something hard".

Our lives before and our lives now are hard...and worth every tear.