The Night the Llama Saved Christmas- coming soon...

Due for release at the end of November and available on www.amazon.co.uk.

Aimed at children between the ages of 5-7 years, but all you grown up kids can read it too.

The Night the Llama Saved Christmas, tells the story of Santa and his poorly reindeer.

On Christmas eve, a rather panicked Elf rushes into Santa's office and tells him his famous and beloved team have on the whole, been struck with cold. After making a replacement- Donner out- Gerald in, Santa and his under-the-weather team set off to bring presents to the children of the world.

Sadly, the 'deer can't make it all the way around the globe and have to land in Peru to enlist replacements.

It's now up to Blitzen and Gerald to train a group of Peruvian Llama to take over the reigns and save Christmas for all the little boys and girls of the world.

Can they make it?

Into Thin Air

In keeping with my monthly book reading exploits, my most recent read was this novel by Jon Krakauer, author of Into The Wild- a factual account of his exploits and the results.

Plot: Having climbed for a number of years, Krakauer is given a new assignment by Outside Magazine- Would you like to scale Mount Everest and write about it?

Think about it; you're in your early 40's, wife, kids, life and a latent desire to accomplish a feat matched by fewer than 5000 people. That sounds like a lot, but when you add up the efforts, the loss and the years trying to do just this, it's truly a small number.

While on his climb from base camp to camp 2, 3 and the summit, Krakauer and his compatriots face dilemmas that would make the average, book reading person quiver- myself included.

The real coincidence is that while this story was being lived, another team set about scaling the largest mountain in the world- a team filming for Imax. as such, there is a 44 minute film (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120661/) that goes some way to also account for the events that transpired atop Sagarmatha (the mountain's Tibetan name).

Told initially through back history of the mountain and failed ventures to conquer it, Krakauer then takes us along for the journey, a journey that sees death and disfigurement in droves.

Following publication of his article in Outside magazine and the subsequent book, Krakauer's involvement in the disaster of 1996 received an equal number of condemnations as well as understanding acknowledgements.

It's down to the reader, the experienced climbers and the author himself to make up his or her own mind as to the culpability of the men and women on that climb.

All I'll say is that despite the harrowing nature of the mountain and this account, I feel sympathy for the families, the survivors and oddly enough, I feel a little bit of an urge to start climbing myself.

If you're interested, there's also this documentary series;

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0883680/

D.I.Y with David

That's right. Dad'd be proud.

This literary, artistic, lazy Oik (Yorkshire term for a person lacking drive or manners) has finally been set to work.

I have been assigned the task of sanding and re-painting three pieces of dated furniture and giving them a new lease on life. Cue the music from 'Changing Rooms' and watch the magic unfold.

First was the long legged table. Dark to the point it was almost black. Sanded, painted and now look at the results.

Sorry, no 'pre' photo for this one.

Next came the bau ooo (blanket box and I don't know how to spell it in Portuguese, so- Bau oooo).

Sanded- to the point my arms very nearly fell off (3 hours) and re-painted.

Delightful.

And finally, I think (depends on my next task), the Dresser table thingy.

Sanded, a little (I was advised I didn't have to try too hard with it) and painted (here is the first coat).

Huzzah!

I'm pretty handy, if I do say so myself.

Dangerous Visions 2

Usually I'm quite complimentary about novels I've read, to the point I can be glowing and lack a real objectivity. Not this time.

I've been working my way through a variety of sci-fi shorts that I keep finding in a local book-store and have been delighted with my finds.

Authors from Issac Asimov to Robert A. Heinlein provide a timely, yet timeless outlook on the future of space, travel, the economy, agriculture and every other aspect of modern and not so modern life.

This collection of shorts- compiled by Harlan Ellison, endeavoured to bring together some of 'The' names in alternative fiction and have them create stories that honour the title. Stories that would bewilder, alarm and provoke controversy.

From what I've read, mainly in the introduction from Ellison himself, this was the case, though I can only imagine readers of speculative fiction, as it was often referred to, had less backbone when the stories were published than they do now.

You'd think, with writers such as Larry Niven, Philip K. Dick and Poul Anderson, there might be something in there that would spark a little zest. Only Dick's story- 'Faith of our Father's' contained anything close to the controversy requested.

Shame.

Bugio

When Clarissa was a child, there were Monkeys in the trees outside her house.

She hasn't seen 'em for a while now, but given the sheer amount of nature here in the South of Brasil, they're bound to still be around.

Can you believe it though?

Monkeys!

When I was a kid all we had were Sparrows, grouchy Squirrels and the occasional lost Cat on an outswung branch- mewing in a demented fashion.

My, how life changes.

Bugio or Howler Monkey.

Update

It's been 6 months since I arrived in Brasil.

I have done these things, been to these places and enjoyed even more...

Clarissa, Nirlei, Cezar and I went on a boat ride in the lake and promptly nearly drowned.

Clarissa and I visited Uruguay- our very first holiday together (not counting Wales for a rainy weekend).

Clarissa and I have been to Gramado (a German enclave with fantastic chocolate- really, you NEED to try it!)

The entire family and I visited Canada (it was spectacular!)

We have spent many an enjoyable Saturday/Sunday in the park near our home, observing the wildlife- both animal and human alike.

I have visited the original capital of Rio Grande do Sul- Viamao.

I have gained much needed, wanted and enjoyable employment as an English teacher at the American English Club (AMEC) in Viamao.

I have started teaching Nirlei English too, not that she really needs that much help, it's more the idioms.

I have photographed and blogged numerous random images and not so numerous original thoughts.

I have found inspiration to begin and finish my very first book; a children's story- The Night the Llama Saved Christmas thanks to support from my beloved Clarissa.

I have grown to quickly love our dogs, Pricila and the ever crazy Joca.

I have even begun to learn Portuguese. Slowly, as I'm terribly lazy. Something I am ashamed of, but am aiming to rectify in the coming months.

And most recently, we have moved into our very first home together and despite works that need to be done, I don't think I've ever been happier. Besides, Clarissa does most of the 'handyman' stuff...I do the cleaning (she's awful with a mop).

Brasil is by far and away my biggest and greatest adventure and to be honest, while destiny was never really something I subscribed too, my belief in an eventual reconciliation and life with Clarissa has always been at the forefront of my mind and dreams.

2012 began a little slowly...it's fast picking up!

Dress up with Pricila

I've always been torn between the cute and the frustrated looks on animals faces when owners, invariably, play 'dress-up' with them.

I'm there, laughing or going 'awwww', but at the same time I feel sorry for the embarrassment I know I'd feel if I were in there place.

However, on this occasion, we couldn't help but enjoy Pricila's model poses.

Green Streets

They're everywhere!

Out my window- it's green.
Down the street- green.
Around the corner- green!

There's barely an area in Porto Alegre that doesn't scream forest!

I love it!

I come from Sheffield, a city in Britain that over the last few years has taken a dramatic curve from the Capital of Steel to endeavouring to become a European hub for nature and beauty. A big step for an industrial city I'm sure you'll all agree, but as much as I love my birth city, Sheffield will need a good 70 years to catch up with the work of Porto Alegre and it's dedicated citizens.

http://www.treehugger.com/culture/most-beautiful-street-world.html

Looks like a scene from a reclaimed city- post apocalyptic style.

Godling Go Home- Robert Silverberg

I just don't seem to be able to stop myself.

I found a bookshop around the corner, almost exactly around the corner actually. 

Sure it sells predominantly Portuguese language books, but there is an English language section...and it's mainly Sci-Fi!

There's also, oddly, quite a lot of Western stuff too.

Each book is second hand, but in most cases you'd be forgiven for thinking them at eighth or ninth hand. Which is great, as it means the majority of the front covers are really rather peculiar and mosre often than not, have little or nothing to do with the subject matter. Always entertaining I think.

My most recent read was this collection of shorts by the Science Fiction supremo- Robert Silverberg.

Very much worth your time and effort if you ever liked the idea of aliens seeding worlds and then getting kicked out upon their return.

English Conversation Classes

Individual English Conversation Lessons

Having lived in Brasil for six months now and worked in an English Language School for a few, I now feel happy and excited to offer individual classes outside my regular teaching hours.

Lessons will include, vocabulary, grammar, general phrases, American/English/Australian idioms and a large amount of information gleaned from years of being English and living...in England.

If you are interested in scheduling a class or just curious, 

please email;

anenglishmaninthesun@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

Note: The individual classes can be held at your home or mine...so long as you live in the 

Porto Alegre/Viamao area.  

Photo frames

Whenever I have ventured into a frame shop, to find something to mount my treasured photographs in, I have often found peculiar images residing inside already.

More often than not, they're odd looking folk, with smiles that you ache to slap off their faces.

The other day, Clarissa and I found ourselves in a furniture showroom and while roaming through the artificial Living-room's (Sala) and bedrooms, we found these beauties.

Now ask yourselves, would you use these ladies to promote happy families? Personally, I feel sorry for the horses.

In addition, upon leaving Viamao yesterday, we saw a Transformer.

Yep! Awesome, I know!

Election Day

OK, so, it's Election Day.

For the last three-four months the candidates have been saturating their potential constituents with bill board adverts, roaming cars with obnoxious campaign speech and by contrast, some particularly catchy political songs (I like the one for Jose Fortunati- he's the reigning Mayor for Porto Alegre), flyers handed to you everywhere you go and people on the middle grass banks between the traffic lanes waving giant flags as you drive by and nearly hit 'em.

This guy's a Doctor, so you should trust him.

This guy's supporters all wear the same hat.

I've never seen the like.

In Britain the campaigning is limited to the few weeks leading up to a local or general election, in Brasil- it's constant and for months.

As it stands, Jose Fortunati is heading out his competition, with only Manuela- a young lady that's been rising through the Rio Grande do Sul political arena steadily for years, even close.

Sadly, being a non-native/natural or Gringo, I can't vote, if I could, I'd probably lean towards ForTUnati (that's how his name appears on posters- mainly, I think, because TU, solely in Rio Grande do Sul is 'you'- sneaky huh)

To be treated to the best campaign song- it's Soooo catchy, watch the link;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETvwsV6vGVM

If you ever wonder how the potential politicians have the money to employ so many supportive people, they don't. They simply promise 'em jobs. Really. Once elected to the council, they are legally allowed to employ a large number of folk. So, he/she wins- you win. Everyone's a winner! 

Aged Lotharios

Today I smiled.

I smiled widely because I witnessed two men- one at the bus stop, in his mid 50's and one on the bus, in his gray haired 80's and both, were admiring the forms of two women, barely into their 20's.

The first bore a lecherous grin that seemed to say "Phwoar!" as he turned to follow her rear as it shimmied away, while the second merely allowed his head to follow where his eyes were already firmly ensconced. 

Seems in the south of Brasil, the macho perv is well and truly alive.

It makes me smile.

Porto Alegre ladies...