Christmas

Recently we had Christmas.

I'm sure most of you noticed.

On this occasion and for the foreseeable future I did and will be spending it in Brasil.

It was my first away from Sheffield and only the second since my parents had both passed away, but I wasn't nervous. Mainly because despite the mega heat of the day and days leading up to my first summer-y Christmas, there were so many similarities to it and the normal snowy variety I am used to.

The tree was laden to overflowing with baubles, tinsel and other assorted decorations, lights shone from every place you cared to look, the smell of Turkey wafted through the house and above all, I was with a family that did nothing but smile and make everything easy and fun.

I can't thank them enough for making me feel welcome and part of this new family.

Here are a few photos. Clarissa made the dessert- delicious.

Venus Development

Making use of Cold War conflict, Industrialism, Scientific advancement and World-wide food crises, Venus Development is one of those titles- much like my own book, which does exactly what the title says. However- much like my own book again, it does so with story so as to detract from the obvious intent.

Plot: The World is on its last legs. Food and water are at a premium, Political unrest is as rife as ever, in fact, even more so and the President of the United States has just resigned, leaving the Vice-President to take over and judge just how plausible and justifiable a manned mission to Venus really is. To help him with this, he “borrows” ….. from his research telescope- given that the former head of the project was kidnapped recently and instructs him and a specially selected team to assess the merits of the project, the billions of dollars that have been spent and while dodging assassins, rouge governmental agents and inner conflicts simply figure out, does this cockamamie idea have legs?

Using scientific jargon, spy gubbins and a whole load of political intrigue, Venus Development is a fascinating and adventurous read, as any space exploration/human advancement tale should be.

To say I was disappointed when the ending arrived is an understatement. Not because it was somehow less than I had hoped from the story, but simply that it had in fact ended.

The Dragon and The George

The Dragon and The George is the novel the film- Flight of Dragons was based upon and as such, holds a dear place in my heart. The film that is. Now, the book too. 

A fantastical story on every sense that drives to make the mythical and magical something within the realms of possibility or at least, within scientific explanation.

Plot: Jim and his girlfriend Angela are University Graduate students, looking to find their first home together. While waiting for his girlfriend to be released from her academic obligations, Jim gets miffed and storms into her laboratory, just in time to see her sitting in a chair, head in a helmet and subsequently, vanish. In rage, Jim turns to the professor and demands to be sent after her to get her back.

The next thing Jim knows, he's in a magical realm and a rather large Dragon seems to be bellowing at him. Turns out, Jim's mind has been transported into that of a Dragon named Gorbash, the distant relative of the elderly and grouchy Dragon yelling at him. It now falls to Jim to find his lady love and rescue her from the clutches of evil.

Questing, Knights, Dire Wolves, Archers, Bandits, Ogres and Sandmirks (don't know what they are? Read the book!), awseome!

I was so happy to find this book, happier still to have read it, sad to have finished it and now, happy again, I found the sequel.

My First Book

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Night-Llama-Saved-Christmas-ebook/dp/B00ALTTXHQ/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1355161649&sr=8-4

The Night the Llama Saved Christmas is my first book and I would like to thank everyone that helped, read, listened and generally took notice and cared.

I am so unbelievably happy that it is finally available for the children to read and enjoy...and if a few adults wanna enjoy it too, well, go right on ahead.

See a few early designs below...

Our Man in Havana

It beggars belief that it took me so long to read this novel.

I mean, come on, could someone not have sat me down and slapped me across the chops with a copy a few years ago?!

This story is both factual in basis and hysterical in actuality.

Plot: Wormold, our vacuum cleaner salesman in Havana is quite settled in his life, drinking in the local bar with his German doctor friend and struggling to keep a handle on his teenage daughter and her Catholic tendencies, when, a British Secret Service agent recruits him with the promise of a hefty salary addition. Given that Wormold has no experience and but a smattering of training, he does what every impoverished, loving father would do...he fiddles the British Government for a little extra cash.

Brilliant!

In every single way, this story is Brilliant.

Read it, folks.

Gramado in the Sun

My word was it warm.

Great! but warm.

The last time we visited the German town of Gramado, it was a touch damp to say the least. We had a wonderful time but we ended up buying gloves, hats and umbrellas. No worries this time.

Gramado borders Canela. Both are located high in the hills, a couple of hours drive outside of Porto Alegre.

As you near the entrance to the towns you have a choice...buy shoes now, or buy them later.

Outlet stores line the roads as you arrive and given that, like any guy, I wear things until they fall apart, Clarissa suggested a new pair of trainers. I got two. I know, don't go crazy there David!

After your shopping, which turned out very necessary indeed, we entered Gramado.

Everything was in bloom!

I say everything, because while basking in the spring and nearing summer, Brasilian flowers flourish and none more so than the Hortensia plants that litter the roads and make the approach to these towns as picturesque as you could ever want.

As we drove through the centre of town, it became clear, very quickly that Gramado like to celebrate Christmas as soon as humanly possibly. Driving up on the Thursday of the long weekend, we got to see the lights that would be celebrated on the Saturday, early. Not 'ON', but strung from pillar to post, tree to tree and if they stayed still long enough, quite possibly, car to car.

In Sheffield we celebrate by hanging lights too and we do it early too, but nothing like here.

I love it!

Christmas comes but once a year, so why the hell not celebrate it for a couple of months?!

It's so strange for me to be enjoying the lead up to Christmas in a climate that could easily give me sunstroke, if it weren't for the Factor 30+ sunscreen I layer upon my pasty flesh on a semi-daily basis.

Sadly I failed on this occasion to photograph the flowers or the festivities, but I did get some crackers (ha ha, Crackers) of the waterfall.

That's right folks, Gramado has a waterfall and damn, it's a long way to the bottom!

This photo was taken on the way down...there was still the return leg.

Talking of legs, mine shivered and shook like a Funk dancer (Brasilian music/dance- Google it!).

I love to walk, I'd walk everywhere if I had the chance, but I rarely use the downward muscle bits and descending over 700 steps and then ascending them...well, that was a little much for my spindly appendages.

But thankfully, I had my new shoes! Relief. They are perfect for scaling the heights and observing nature at its fullest. As with here. However, some of the ladies that ventured the distance forgot to pack their hiking gear. Some of them wore those cork-style high heels and I mush say it was with awe and hilarity that I observed some of them teeter and totter down and up the steps.

The waterfall itself...well, there aren't that many words in the English language to describe it, so I'll do my best and show you an image or two.

This is the sight from the observation deck.

This is the sight through the myriad vegetation on the decline.

and this is the sight from the bottom. You can almost feel the spray from the water.

We were in Canada recently and were lucky enough to see a waterfall there too.

It wasn't a patch on the Gramado one.

The falls themselves are located within a natural forest and nature preserve that asks you for R$12 per person to enter.

Pay it!

It's worth every penny.

We wandered, we hiked, we sweated (a lot) and we got to see some areas of natural beauty that save for the weather and waterfall, often made me pause and think of Britain.

I am so very lucky to live in this country.

This appears to be some kind of Caterpillar orgy, best steer clear of that one.

Further on from our wanderings, it'd be fair to say Clarissa and I got a touch hungry.

So, taking advantage of the town and a special price offer, we ventured to a restaurant (one of many) that specialized in Fondue (or Fondee as it's pronounced here).

Wow!

It's a revelation!

I know! I know! Fondue/dee has been around for years, but I never had it before.

But I'll tell you what, I ain't ever stoppin' now!

Look at this!

That's right folks...cheese, meat and chocolate!!!

That's an exclamation mark each.

Wow again.

I have to especially say thank you to Clarissa here, because being a vegetarian, she missed out on the middle course and even ended up doing the table-top cooking for me, as I had the enviable task of devouring all or as much of the meat as I could.

I gave it a good go, but being a self-confessed Chocaholic, I had to leave space for the third course.

The final element of our trip to Gramado and Canela I shall describe regards our adventure on the rapids below.

Clarissa, having gone before, thought it a fun idea to venture outwith the realms of casual walking and chocolate gorging and do something a little more physically exerting...off we went- rafting!

Now, those of you that know me personally and those of you that have in fact been reading this blog, will already know...I ain't that outdoorsy.

Don't get me wrong, I like it when I do it, but I tend to venture over mountains, along valleys and through the skies within the realms of a good book.

This was a first for me.

Look how smooth I look (smooth, ha ha-wet suit, ha).

This is me, paying close attention to my translators relayed instructions.

Rule 1: Don't fall in the water.
Rule 2: If someone falls in the water- laugh at them (we did)
Rule 3: Save the paddle first and the crewman/woman second.
Rule 4: Have a blast! (we did!)

I'll be honest, these were mild rapids, but when there's 7 in a boat and only the instructor, you and your Influenza stricken girlfriend are doing any paddling, it gets to be hard work.

Here is the photographic evidence.

It was great though! I can't wait to try it again.

Another massive thanks to Clarissa.

She has a habit of pushing me into things and so far, they've all worked out pretty darn well.

Cheers.

The Night the Llama Saved Christmas- coming soon...

Due for release at the end of November and available on www.amazon.co.uk.

Aimed at children between the ages of 5-7 years, but all you grown up kids can read it too.

The Night the Llama Saved Christmas, tells the story of Santa and his poorly reindeer.

On Christmas eve, a rather panicked Elf rushes into Santa's office and tells him his famous and beloved team have on the whole, been struck with cold. After making a replacement- Donner out- Gerald in, Santa and his under-the-weather team set off to bring presents to the children of the world.

Sadly, the 'deer can't make it all the way around the globe and have to land in Peru to enlist replacements.

It's now up to Blitzen and Gerald to train a group of Peruvian Llama to take over the reigns and save Christmas for all the little boys and girls of the world.

Can they make it?

Into Thin Air

In keeping with my monthly book reading exploits, my most recent read was this novel by Jon Krakauer, author of Into The Wild- a factual account of his exploits and the results.

Plot: Having climbed for a number of years, Krakauer is given a new assignment by Outside Magazine- Would you like to scale Mount Everest and write about it?

Think about it; you're in your early 40's, wife, kids, life and a latent desire to accomplish a feat matched by fewer than 5000 people. That sounds like a lot, but when you add up the efforts, the loss and the years trying to do just this, it's truly a small number.

While on his climb from base camp to camp 2, 3 and the summit, Krakauer and his compatriots face dilemmas that would make the average, book reading person quiver- myself included.

The real coincidence is that while this story was being lived, another team set about scaling the largest mountain in the world- a team filming for Imax. as such, there is a 44 minute film (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120661/) that goes some way to also account for the events that transpired atop Sagarmatha (the mountain's Tibetan name).

Told initially through back history of the mountain and failed ventures to conquer it, Krakauer then takes us along for the journey, a journey that sees death and disfigurement in droves.

Following publication of his article in Outside magazine and the subsequent book, Krakauer's involvement in the disaster of 1996 received an equal number of condemnations as well as understanding acknowledgements.

It's down to the reader, the experienced climbers and the author himself to make up his or her own mind as to the culpability of the men and women on that climb.

All I'll say is that despite the harrowing nature of the mountain and this account, I feel sympathy for the families, the survivors and oddly enough, I feel a little bit of an urge to start climbing myself.

If you're interested, there's also this documentary series;

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0883680/

D.I.Y with David

That's right. Dad'd be proud.

This literary, artistic, lazy Oik (Yorkshire term for a person lacking drive or manners) has finally been set to work.

I have been assigned the task of sanding and re-painting three pieces of dated furniture and giving them a new lease on life. Cue the music from 'Changing Rooms' and watch the magic unfold.

First was the long legged table. Dark to the point it was almost black. Sanded, painted and now look at the results.

Sorry, no 'pre' photo for this one.

Next came the bau ooo (blanket box and I don't know how to spell it in Portuguese, so- Bau oooo).

Sanded- to the point my arms very nearly fell off (3 hours) and re-painted.

Delightful.

And finally, I think (depends on my next task), the Dresser table thingy.

Sanded, a little (I was advised I didn't have to try too hard with it) and painted (here is the first coat).

Huzzah!

I'm pretty handy, if I do say so myself.

Dangerous Visions 2

Usually I'm quite complimentary about novels I've read, to the point I can be glowing and lack a real objectivity. Not this time.

I've been working my way through a variety of sci-fi shorts that I keep finding in a local book-store and have been delighted with my finds.

Authors from Issac Asimov to Robert A. Heinlein provide a timely, yet timeless outlook on the future of space, travel, the economy, agriculture and every other aspect of modern and not so modern life.

This collection of shorts- compiled by Harlan Ellison, endeavoured to bring together some of 'The' names in alternative fiction and have them create stories that honour the title. Stories that would bewilder, alarm and provoke controversy.

From what I've read, mainly in the introduction from Ellison himself, this was the case, though I can only imagine readers of speculative fiction, as it was often referred to, had less backbone when the stories were published than they do now.

You'd think, with writers such as Larry Niven, Philip K. Dick and Poul Anderson, there might be something in there that would spark a little zest. Only Dick's story- 'Faith of our Father's' contained anything close to the controversy requested.

Shame.

Bugio

When Clarissa was a child, there were Monkeys in the trees outside her house.

She hasn't seen 'em for a while now, but given the sheer amount of nature here in the South of Brasil, they're bound to still be around.

Can you believe it though?

Monkeys!

When I was a kid all we had were Sparrows, grouchy Squirrels and the occasional lost Cat on an outswung branch- mewing in a demented fashion.

My, how life changes.

Bugio or Howler Monkey.

Update

It's been 6 months since I arrived in Brasil.

I have done these things, been to these places and enjoyed even more...

Clarissa, Nirlei, Cezar and I went on a boat ride in the lake and promptly nearly drowned.

Clarissa and I visited Uruguay- our very first holiday together (not counting Wales for a rainy weekend).

Clarissa and I have been to Gramado (a German enclave with fantastic chocolate- really, you NEED to try it!)

The entire family and I visited Canada (it was spectacular!)

We have spent many an enjoyable Saturday/Sunday in the park near our home, observing the wildlife- both animal and human alike.

I have visited the original capital of Rio Grande do Sul- Viamao.

I have gained much needed, wanted and enjoyable employment as an English teacher at the American English Club (AMEC) in Viamao.

I have started teaching Nirlei English too, not that she really needs that much help, it's more the idioms.

I have photographed and blogged numerous random images and not so numerous original thoughts.

I have found inspiration to begin and finish my very first book; a children's story- The Night the Llama Saved Christmas thanks to support from my beloved Clarissa.

I have grown to quickly love our dogs, Pricila and the ever crazy Joca.

I have even begun to learn Portuguese. Slowly, as I'm terribly lazy. Something I am ashamed of, but am aiming to rectify in the coming months.

And most recently, we have moved into our very first home together and despite works that need to be done, I don't think I've ever been happier. Besides, Clarissa does most of the 'handyman' stuff...I do the cleaning (she's awful with a mop).

Brasil is by far and away my biggest and greatest adventure and to be honest, while destiny was never really something I subscribed too, my belief in an eventual reconciliation and life with Clarissa has always been at the forefront of my mind and dreams.

2012 began a little slowly...it's fast picking up!

Dress up with Pricila

I've always been torn between the cute and the frustrated looks on animals faces when owners, invariably, play 'dress-up' with them.

I'm there, laughing or going 'awwww', but at the same time I feel sorry for the embarrassment I know I'd feel if I were in there place.

However, on this occasion, we couldn't help but enjoy Pricila's model poses.

Green Streets

They're everywhere!

Out my window- it's green.
Down the street- green.
Around the corner- green!

There's barely an area in Porto Alegre that doesn't scream forest!

I love it!

I come from Sheffield, a city in Britain that over the last few years has taken a dramatic curve from the Capital of Steel to endeavouring to become a European hub for nature and beauty. A big step for an industrial city I'm sure you'll all agree, but as much as I love my birth city, Sheffield will need a good 70 years to catch up with the work of Porto Alegre and it's dedicated citizens.

http://www.treehugger.com/culture/most-beautiful-street-world.html

Looks like a scene from a reclaimed city- post apocalyptic style.

Godling Go Home- Robert Silverberg

I just don't seem to be able to stop myself.

I found a bookshop around the corner, almost exactly around the corner actually. 

Sure it sells predominantly Portuguese language books, but there is an English language section...and it's mainly Sci-Fi!

There's also, oddly, quite a lot of Western stuff too.

Each book is second hand, but in most cases you'd be forgiven for thinking them at eighth or ninth hand. Which is great, as it means the majority of the front covers are really rather peculiar and mosre often than not, have little or nothing to do with the subject matter. Always entertaining I think.

My most recent read was this collection of shorts by the Science Fiction supremo- Robert Silverberg.

Very much worth your time and effort if you ever liked the idea of aliens seeding worlds and then getting kicked out upon their return.

English Conversation Classes

Individual English Conversation Lessons

Having lived in Brasil for six months now and worked in an English Language School for a few, I now feel happy and excited to offer individual classes outside my regular teaching hours.

Lessons will include, vocabulary, grammar, general phrases, American/English/Australian idioms and a large amount of information gleaned from years of being English and living...in England.

If you are interested in scheduling a class or just curious, 

please email;

anenglishmaninthesun@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

Note: The individual classes can be held at your home or mine...so long as you live in the 

Porto Alegre/Viamao area.  

Photo frames

Whenever I have ventured into a frame shop, to find something to mount my treasured photographs in, I have often found peculiar images residing inside already.

More often than not, they're odd looking folk, with smiles that you ache to slap off their faces.

The other day, Clarissa and I found ourselves in a furniture showroom and while roaming through the artificial Living-room's (Sala) and bedrooms, we found these beauties.

Now ask yourselves, would you use these ladies to promote happy families? Personally, I feel sorry for the horses.

In addition, upon leaving Viamao yesterday, we saw a Transformer.

Yep! Awesome, I know!

Election Day

OK, so, it's Election Day.

For the last three-four months the candidates have been saturating their potential constituents with bill board adverts, roaming cars with obnoxious campaign speech and by contrast, some particularly catchy political songs (I like the one for Jose Fortunati- he's the reigning Mayor for Porto Alegre), flyers handed to you everywhere you go and people on the middle grass banks between the traffic lanes waving giant flags as you drive by and nearly hit 'em.

This guy's a Doctor, so you should trust him.

This guy's supporters all wear the same hat.

I've never seen the like.

In Britain the campaigning is limited to the few weeks leading up to a local or general election, in Brasil- it's constant and for months.

As it stands, Jose Fortunati is heading out his competition, with only Manuela- a young lady that's been rising through the Rio Grande do Sul political arena steadily for years, even close.

Sadly, being a non-native/natural or Gringo, I can't vote, if I could, I'd probably lean towards ForTUnati (that's how his name appears on posters- mainly, I think, because TU, solely in Rio Grande do Sul is 'you'- sneaky huh)

To be treated to the best campaign song- it's Soooo catchy, watch the link;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETvwsV6vGVM

If you ever wonder how the potential politicians have the money to employ so many supportive people, they don't. They simply promise 'em jobs. Really. Once elected to the council, they are legally allowed to employ a large number of folk. So, he/she wins- you win. Everyone's a winner! 

Aged Lotharios

Today I smiled.

I smiled widely because I witnessed two men- one at the bus stop, in his mid 50's and one on the bus, in his gray haired 80's and both, were admiring the forms of two women, barely into their 20's.

The first bore a lecherous grin that seemed to say "Phwoar!" as he turned to follow her rear as it shimmied away, while the second merely allowed his head to follow where his eyes were already firmly ensconced. 

Seems in the south of Brasil, the macho perv is well and truly alive.

It makes me smile.

Porto Alegre ladies...

Joao de Barro

Or John of Clay is a bird that commonly nests here in Brasil.

On this occasion, a pair nested on the outside of our second floor window.

Sadly for us, they left before we moved in.
Happily for a family of Sparrows, they left before they moved in.

As with our apartment, the Sparrow family have seen to redesign their living quarters and as we speak are; knocking through muddy walls and re-decorating with twigs and leaves.
I must say, it's coming along nicely.

A few other facts about the previous tenants;

Joao de Barro/ John of Clay has a Mrs, she's called Maria of Clay or Ladybug of Clay or even Sabiazinho in some places.

They are said to be happy, intelligent and when they sing it's a sign of good weather.

We need some of that here.

Books books and more books

I've been on a bit of a reading binge recently.
My tally is constantly hitting one a week. Sounds low, but it averages out to 52 books a year.

That'd be good, if it weren't for the fact that on average I buy or bought (when in the UK) 4 books for every one read.

It's hardly my fault there are so many amazing novels out there.

Here's a few I've read in the last month;

One Englishman's journey from one end of Japan to another using shoe rubber and a fluency in the language.
A joy from beginning to end.

Not just a collection of shorts (some good some bad) but a guide from the start of an exceptional career. How it all began.

Four shorts and everyone an original. The title tale tells how one businessman sees exploration and the only way to fund the expedition may very well be in optioning off the Moon herself.

Think War of the Worlds, but with Jellyfish and told through the eyes of a pair of journalists.
Highly recommended. Just can't understand why in a Hollywood where originality is so stale, this classic of sci-fi hasn't been told?